The Danger in Expectations

I've had a lot of extra time this week due to work being finished and also being ahead on graduate school work.  I have had time to just sit and enjoy the kids, bake some chocolate dishes, listen to LOTS of encouraging music, read some devotionals and just get my mind "right".  Do you ever feel like you have lost your mind to a busy schedule?  Anyways, God has provided some refreshing time this week for me and I am thankful.

I've been thinking about something my husband talks about often regarding "when expectations meet reality".  Expectations can be great but they can also be SO dangerous.  You see, when we expect certain things and do not get them, we can become frustrated, discouraged, and even angered.

Here are some examples (from my life) of unhealthy expectations:

• To get a certain amount of "alone time" during the kids nap/rest time.  Many times that time has not been long enough for my standards, and the end result is frustration on my part.  Silly.
• For my husband to give me credit for holding everything together. Self-seeking.
• For my husband to do things for me without me having to ask. Micro-managing? :)
• To look a certain way after "eating right" and working out. Vain.

Here's the problem with those expectations...they are all based solely on people.  People will fail, it's inevitable.  We are only human.  Thankfully, God is faithful, patient, and loving.  What I've been able to focus more on recently is my REACTION to expectations not being met.  You see, expectations can be good things if we have a healthy perspective.  If Wesley doesn't nap as long as I would like for him to, that's more time I get to spend with him, soaking up sweet quality time together.  If Jimmy doesn't go out of his way to compliment me on how "great" I am (which he is actually really good about), that doesn't mean he does not appreciate me.  If Jimmy doesn't put his clothes in the laundry hamper, put his bowl away in the morning (ahem), or surprise me in some way, that doesn't mean he doesn't love me.  If I eat a certain way and work out X number of times a week, I may not ever have my college body back...so why am I expecting all of these things?  Selfishness, that's why.  I want things done my way, on my time to please me and meet my expectations.  

I've been able to try reversing this line of thinking and it has been so powerful!  Why do I expect to look a certain way when God loves me, my husband adores me, and my children think I am perfect just the way I am?  I'm no bible scholar, but I know passages about expectations are sprinkled throughout the bible. Specifically in Proverbs 11:23 it states that "The desire of the righteous ends only in good; the expectation of the wicked in wrath".  I'm trying not to take this verse out of context and I read some commentaries before expanding, so just go with me here.  Expectation in this bible verse is most synonymous with "presumption" because these people are presuming God will give them things to fulfill their desires without seeking the will of God. (http://biblehub.com/commentaries/proverbs/11-23.htm).  Verses like these are encouraging to me because they help pull me back on track in a healthy way of thinking and expecting.

OF COURSE there are many great things to expect, so don't over analyze my thoughts.  My point is, where our expectations are, there should also be God.  Without Him, we can be assured there is no hope.  Even with God, though, expectations may not be "met".  While He does want to grant the desires of our heart, we must examine our hearts and see if that lines up with seeking His will...and THAT is a very difficult thing to do!  Be encouraged today and focus on your expectations whether they are short term or long term.