Right now there is clean laundry on our couch, dirty dishes all over the kitchen, unorganized kid toy bins with pieces on the floor, shoes scattered at the entrance to our home...and it has taken me this long to think, "that's okay!". Seriously though, I'm a neat freak, an organizing machine and I don't like when things aren't in order. Ironically enough I'm perfectly okay with all of this mess right now because knowing that Anna Ruth is our last baby has given me perspective. With Grace, everything was new but with Wesley I felt a little more comfortable and almost started wishing away his stages because I knew what was to come next, "I can't wait for him to sleep through the night" or "I can't wait for 6 months until he can sit up on his own and not go anywhere...". Sure enough all those stages did come and go and now he's almost 3. Grace is in kindergarten for Heavens' sake...they just get so big so quickly. This time around I feel like I need to treasure every moment...every stage...every middle of the night feeding...all of it because it literally won't be like this for long (cue cheesy Darious Rucker song that makes me cry every. single. time.). It is logistically more difficult with three kids, no lie, but it's also easier in some respects because we've been through this a few times. The first week at home with Anna Ruth was more emotionally challenging for me than when the other children were born, but I am grateful for my husband, family and friends because their support helped me iron out all those post-preggo hormones that make you cry for no reason. For real though, I was having a breakdown at one point because I didn't want Grace to start driving yet...and she's 5 1/2.
Recovery was great, especially since it was my third c-section; I wasn't sure what to expect with that. I was a more sore for a longer period of time but it wasn't anything terrible, so I 'm grateful for that. While I'm on maternity leave I am trying to be intentional about reading and enjoying time with family. I've been able to join bible study again and have missed that fellowship for sure. Jimmy and I have read through the first two Harry Potter books and are currently working on the third book. I am about to finish a wonderful parenting book that has been really inspiring and also gut-wrenching at the same time. It's called Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World by Kristen Welch (thank you Kim for the recommendation!). This book has been transforming the way I think about parts of parenting. For example: This morning in the van I was talking to the kids about surprising a friend for her birthday. I talked about how fun it is to make someone feel special and that I was going to go and buy some of her favorite treats to drop off at her house. The kids replied, "Do I get one? I want one!" I answered, "of course I will get one for you, too." As the conversation continued there was the realization that the treats weren't going to be immediate (i.e. I was going to give them one later) and the complaining started. "I want to have it now, please" (isn't that so polite of them? haha) The whining continued and it hit me, these are situations where, if I give in and give them what they want, they slowly become entitled. I decided right then and there to say no, "I'm sorry you guys. Mommy is going to change her mind and you are not going to get a treat. The way you are behaving right now by complaining shows that you don't have a grateful heart. We are talking about blessing someone else and you are concerned about you. So, no treats for you." Of course there was more complaining and it would have been so easy to promise a treat for them to have later, but this is one small example of how to change the perspective of our children. Read the book...it's great!
Thank you for praying for us and supporting us in all the ways you have! We truly have seen God working through people to love on us during this time of transition.
Here's a chapter of the bible I want my family to spend time in this week (from the book I mentioned above...she chooses verses for the family to memorize over dinner) and hopefully memorize:
Pslam 23
The Lord is my Shepherd. I will have everything I need. 2 He lets me rest in fields of green grass. He leads me beside the quiet waters. 3 He makes me strong again. He leads me in the way of living right with Himself which brings honor to His name. 4 Yes, even if I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not be afraid of anything, because You are with me. You have a walking stick with which to guide and one with which to help. These comfort me. 5 You are making a table of food ready for me in front of those who hate me. You have poured oil on my head. I have everything I need. 6 For sure, You will give me goodness and loving-kindness all the days of my life. Then I will live with You in Your house forever.
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